Birth stories have always been one of my favorite things to read, long before I was even thinking of having a baby. The experience is so different for every mother and baby, and I wrote down Theo’s day right after we got home for the hospital so I wouldn’t forget any of the details.
If you read earlier posts, you know that I had been preparing for a natural child birth, but we found out the baby was breech around 33 weeks which threw me for a loop. I tried everything to get him to turn around, and delayed scheduling a C-section for as long as possible in hopes he would turn on his own. On August 22nd, Drew and I went out to dinner for our 3rd wedding anniversary. It was also my last day in the office, as I had planned to work from home for the remainder of the week (mainly because I was running out of clothes that fit) and my due date was that Sunday. I felt no different that day, worked until about 4pm and then met Drew for dinner later on. We were home around 9pm and I remember feeling so full before bed and happy that we got to have one last official date just the two of us for our anniversary.
Around 3am I woke up to a weird stomach ache. I honestly thought it was because I had eaten so much food at dinner and with all my organs crammed in there thanks to baby, I didn’t think much of it. I went back to bed, but then woke up again around 5:30am with the same feeling. I decided just to stay awake since I was working from home that day and could get an early start on running some reports. Drew was already up for the day, working out a few rooms down. I got up to pee shortly after logging into my computer, and felt this stickiness trickle down my leg. My first thought was ‘WTF I just peed my pants?! I’m so over being pregnant’. I peed, got back into bed and continued with my work. Maybe 10 minutes later I felt like I had to pee again, which wasn’t unusual, so I jumped up to head back to the bathroom and a small gush came out, soaking my shorts. It took me a few seconds to realize that it could be my water breaking. I wasn’t 100% convinced though, so I kind of just sat there for a minute. It didn’t seem like enough water (not that I knew how much water it should be), but of course I’m picturing what you see in movies so I didn’t think this could be it. But then again, everyone I ever talked to about going into labor has told me it’s the complete opposite of the movies actually, and usually your water doesn’t break until after contractions start, especially if it’s your first baby. Since I over analyze everything, and always like to be 110% sure about things beforehand, I hesitated to even call Drew into the room because I didn’t want to get his hopes up if this was in fact nothing. So after 10 minutes of sitting in the bathroom and googling “can you water slowly break in small gushes” I decided that there was a good enough chance that this was actually it and I should probably tell someone.
As I walk out of the bathroom, Drew was on his way into our bedroom and let me know he was going to hop into the shower before work. I can’t remember what my exact words were, but I pretty much told him to hold off because I think my water just broke. But I quickly followed it up with, “but I’m not sure, so don’t tell anyone yet.” Of course his reaction was, what else could fluid dripping down my legs be?? Good point.
I decided I wanted to shower before calling my midwife and finish packing my hospital bag, so I didn’t end up calling her office until around 9am. She told me that I definitely needed to head to the hospital, because even if I wasn’t contracting yet they didn’t want baby to start moving down the birth canal still breech. So Drew loaded up the car and I got dressed. Of course I then remembered I had no gas in my car, so he drove down the street to grab gas while I finished getting the rest of my stuff together. As soon as he left, I started getting contractions and then my water really started gushing out. He was probably gone for 6 minutes as most, but it felt like twenty as I started to panic we still had over a half hour drive to the hospital. By the time he was back and we were on the road, the contractions were coming every four minutes and it sucked to be in the car unable to move around. Luckily, our drive was nice and smooth, we missed the rush hour traffic into Hartford and we were parked and walking into labor and delivery within thirty minutes. By the time we checked into triage, my contractions were so strong I couldn’t talk much so they checked my dilation and started to get a labor and delivery room setup for us. Once in that room, we thought we should probably call our families since everything was moving pretty fast. But just our luck, not one person picked up the phone on the first try! And our nurse came into the room saying they were ready to take me into the operating room right then. So I tried my mom one more time and texted my sister, and luckily my mom picked up this time and my sister texted me back right away. My brother and Dad ignored Drew’s phone calls because they were on a trip in Maryland for a baseball game and thought Drew was just calling to talk about a Celtic’s trade the night before haha. Anyway, after some phone tag we were able to reach everyone before heading in.
I had to go into the operating room alone at first to get my spinal block, and as soon as I left the room without Drew I started crying. It was really overwhelming and I was so nervous. Luckily our nurse was a God-send and she made the experience 100% better than I could have expected. I have a whole new appreciation for nurses- but especially labor and delivery nurses. As opposed as I was to having a C-section, they helped me try and make it as “natural” of an experience as possible. The best part was allowing us to bring our own little speaker and listen to a our own playlist during section. It helped so much to be able to concentrate on something other than being cut open, and I had made a playlist of Drew and my favorite songs beforehand. We ended up playing those songs our entire stay in the hospital. Now it’s my go-to playlist when I’m in the car with Theo since he HATES his car seat and needs as many distractions as possible.
Drew was able to join us a few minutes after they already started the section, which kind of confused me because he literally walked in as I was already cut open and I would have thought they would bring him in beforehand, but luckily he was easily distracted by others things…like meeting our son any minute. Before I even heard Theo cry, I knew he was being pulled out. Although you can’t actually feel any pain, you feel all these different levels of pressure and tugging sensations. I felt like this huge weight was being lifted off my body, and less than a minute later it was followed by our screaming baby boy.
It’s so hard to put into words what it feels like to see your baby for the first time. There is really nothing like it. No matter how many 4D ultrasounds you get or how many times you see them poking through your pregnant belly- it doesn’t even compare to the love you have after getting to see and hold them in the flesh. The nurses quickly suctioned some of the fluid out of him and within a minute had him laying on my chest. I had requested to do skin-to-skin right after birth and all of the nurses made sure my arms weren’t restrained in any way so I could hold him there while they finished closing my incision. I wish I could relive that half hour, over and over again. Truly the best moments of my life.
I just couldn’t stop staring and studying him. He was so alert and content just laying there. Drew pulled his hat away a little and he had a full head of reddish brown hair. (So I guess it’s true that severe heartburn = baby with lots of hair.) We just sat there in awe of him. Once I was all set to go, they wheeled us into the recovery room where we stayed for the next few hours. It was there he started breastfeeding for the first time. I remember just being so impressed that this little human knew what to do, not an hour after being on Earth. There is something about having a baby that really makes you appreciate how incredible the human body is. I feel so lucky Theo latched right away and our breastfeeding experience has been relatively smooth. I never in a thousand years thought I would be one to breastfeed my baby. I had planned to exclusively pump so others could help with bottles and feeding, but after he latched with very little issues, I now exclusively breastfeed instead. (Ironically we’re now having issues giving him a bottle instead. Win some, lose some.)
While we were in the recovery room, I started getting a burning sensation near my incision which was odd since I still couldn’t move or feel my legs. Our families arrived soon after and I was slightly distracted from the pain for a while as we introduced them to Theo. Once the evening went on though, it started feeling as though I was having contractions again and even with pain medication it was becoming unbearable. Our nurse also started to get concerned at the amount I was bleeding each hour, so they started to actually weigh the blood loss just to be on the safe side. (Another C-section perk I had no idea about- you still bleed. Fun.) I started to become really out of it, even now it’s hard to remember exactly what happened. I remember them upping my dose of Pitocin to try and get my uterus to contract down (hence the contraction feeling) but while it was also supposed to help slow the bleeding, it wasn’t letting up. A doctor came in to check on the bleeding and decided I was definitely hemorrhaging and they needed to manually remove some of the clotting- which I will spare you the details of. I do remember it was more painful than anything I’ve ever experienced, I almost felt like I was blacking out. At that point I had lost just about 1L of blood and my body was beyond exhausted. I don’t remember the rest of the night- the next thing I knew it was morning and a new doctor was there to check on us. She recommended that I have a blood transfusion for multiple reasons, and I agreed. That afternoon we started the first transfusion and it was almost immediate that I felt like a new person. I could get up and walk, and by that night my milk supply came rushing in. (Side note for anyone who is getting a C-section for the first time- You can definitely get up and walk, but it will feel like your guts are spilling out of your incision and that you are tearing every stitch apart. I had a fabulous nurse, again, who pushed me to get up that first time and even though I hated her for it in the moment, the next time I got up was 10x easier. So even though it will be excruciating pain for the few minutes it takes you to stand, it will be so worth it the next time.) I got a second transfusion just a few hours later and it made a world of a difference. I could actually focus on just enjoying Theo.
We ended up staying a the hospital for 3 nights and left on the 4th afternoon. I thought I would be itching to get out of the hospital after the first day, but everyone there was so helpful I was honestly a little nervous to bring him home and be on our own! But once we got there, it was so nice to sleep in our own bed watch Theo sleep from our own bed. And we’ve been doing just that ever since….
Photos courtesy of Jennifer Mirock. She also did my maternity photos and I swear is a baby whisperer!
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